Give Yourself What You Need

The choices we make determine the sum total of our lives. We all experience events that are out of our control, but our reaction to them is well within our control. In fact, we are the only ones who can choose our reactions.

When bad things happen, we tend to throw ourselves a pity party, and invite everyone we know to attend. We even indirectly invite people we don't know, via the internet, when the festivities reach their peak. The pity party, in and of itself, is to be expected. It's part of the grief process. But, as with all parties, the pity party isn't meant to last a lifetime.

Some things to consider:
People don't like being constantly inundated with negative statements;
People will be sympathetic and empathetic for a finite time;
People expect that you will begin to make choices of change.
I know what you are thinking. You're thinking, that's cold, harsh, mean, and even somewhat cruel. Perhaps, you are even envisioning me as being akin to Meryl Streep in The Devil wears Prada. However,

More things to consider:
Most people don't want to be in the position of an enabler;
Most people do want the best for others;
Most people don't enjoy attending life-long pity parties.
Are your co-workers having lunch without you? Are the people in your circle of friends beginning to avoid you? Taking longer to respond to texts? No one is listening to your diatribes of the unfairness of life and how the world is against you? 

No one will spend an eternity feeling sorry for you; in fact many won't feel sorry for you at all. Sure, they will be compassionate and empathetic, but their support will only last for so long, before they become exhausted. That's when they will begin to migrate away from you, as quickly as they can.

Letting it Go

If it's too much for you to handle, seek professional help. Just because you are overwhelmed by a life event, doesn't mean you are crazy. It means your mental health is more important to you than a stigma attached to the counselor's office. Gaining perspective through talk therapy is a far better alternative than lying in bed at night, staring at the ceiling, participating in negative self-talk. (Disclaimer: Crazy is an ugly word, and should not be applied to anyone with mental health diagnoses.)

Remember that whatever happened is in the past, and you don't live there anymore. You live in the here and now, where every new day is an opportunity to make things different. The rising of the sun heralds in the better not the bitter.

Letting it go; whatever "it" is, is a process. Each person goes through the process in their own way, at their own pace. The point where others become frustrated is when the process stops, and they know it has stopped. They see you lying there in the basement of your soul, refusing to get up and try.

As long as you are trying, people will support you, and help you in whatever you need. But, if you are complaining for the sake of complaining, they will see it as an invitation to a pity party, which they will politely decline, and some will decline in a not so polite manner; and some won't respond at all.

Create goals for creating better. Write them down on paper. Look at them every day. Take action every day to take a step toward accomplishing one of the goals. It has been scientifically proven that crossing an item off a list after completion releases the "feel goods" of our emotional world.

Don't use the internet as a replacement for real life. The internet is filled with pity parties. The more you attend, the more you become comfortable in your own. The more you become comfortable, the less real life interactions that you have with people. We are social creatures by nature. We need real life interaction to feel good and mentally strong. The internet is great for support groups to an extent, but make sure you are getting support, and not attending someone else's pity party.

So, go ahead and feel sorry for yourself, no one else will. Give yourself what you need, and then let it go.
Butterfly Phoenix
Lifestyle
 Donna Wood Donna Wood
American Author | Intellectual | Social Theorist. • Butterfly Phoeni

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Who Am I Really?

Discovering Your True Identity

Written by Luis Palau
Tags: Family, God, Identity, Jesus
This article was written by Andrew Palau.

From the time I was seven years old, I hung out with the same group of friends. As we grew up, I carved out an identity for myself that fit in among the group. I was “the crazy one.”

When I went off to college and left these familiar friends behind, this reputation I had built for myself disappeared. I realized that I didn’t know who I was because my friends weren’t there to define me. I was plagued by the question: “who am I really?” Left without an answer, I felt lost and out of place.

But once I became a follower of Jesus, that question took on a new and exciting dynamic. Who am I? The answer fills my heart with joy, confidence and a sense of eternity. When we accept Jesus Christ, our identity no longer relies on anything or anyone in this world.

Many of us let things such as our jobs, our talents or the people around us define our perception of who we are. But these things are fallible and temporary. Romans 8:16-17 calls us “God’s children” and “co-heirs with Christ.” God has claimed us as his own and promised us eternal life! This is our true identity; one that will never fall away. Isn’t that something worth sharing with those around us?

One of the deepest questions in life is "Who am I?" So who are you? Share with a caring Christian who you are.

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Wisdom Revealed Wisdom comes from immersing ourselves in the Word of God

Wisdom comes from immersing ourselves in the Word of God

Written by Luis Palau
Tags: Bible, Daily Bread, Wisdom
Prepare
What are you doing to gain knowledge and understanding of the world around you? Take time to think about your view of the Word of God. What does it really reveal about successful living?

Read
Proverbs 2:1-22

Explore
I’ve always been drawn to knowledgeable people. Scientists, entrepreneurs, philosophers, political leaders – those who provoke thought and explore reason. They are intriguing to me, and the conversations are engrossing.

But as I have traveled the world, meeting many such individuals, I have never been more intrigued and blessed by the seemingly uneducated people (in the world’s eyes) who yet have a powerful understanding of the Bible. Their wisdom – as explained in this passage – goes beyond anything this world can ever fully give.

So what’s the secret of true wisdom? It lies in verse 1 – “Store up my commands within you.”

Knowledge of the word of God is foundational for living a fulfilling and truly successful life. The riches within the Bible are incredible, and they are for all! If only we were to turn our ear to wisdom and apply our hearts to understanding (v 2). We would find knowledge (v 5), victory (v 7), protection (v 8), understanding (v 9), discretion (v 11), safety (v 12-18), and righteousness (v 20). That’s a pretty good list!

Wisdom found in the word of God begins with the fear of the Lord. That is the rock. You build upon it through His words and His commands. And so as not to forget it, we MUST memorize and meditate on it daily. It is vital to our spiritual lives! God’s Word is a powerful tool, revealing wisdom and producing unimaginable, thrilling, even staggering results.

Respond
Heavenly Father, thank you for revealing your truth to me through your word. Help me to hide it in my heart, that I might not sin against you (Psalm 119:11).

1 Corinthians 1:30 says, "It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption." 

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Social Media Addiction

Jim Moodie in Social Marketing Solutions, Directors and Executives
Principal Owner • Information Access & Design Inc

Social Media Addiction
Over the past 100+ years, every new “social” activity has brought with it addiction; from tobacco, to narcotics, alcohol, gambling and our current substance to abuse, Social Media.

The parallels between today’s need for social media connections and the needs of an addict are frightening. People become so obsessed with maintaining their social media network they ignore their families, place their jobs at risk and even in a strange twisted way ignore the friends. Social media contact becomes all-consuming and the proof is everywhere, just look up from your phone and look around.

Facebook, Twitter and a host of other platforms allow people to gain instant attention, and through that attention feel a part of society. Unfortunately, much like drugs, the effect is not real and leads to depression once reality sets in. There are cases of rage and suicide being traced back to social media “unfriending” or blocking… have our lives really become that consumed by our need to be “liked”?

We may never know how many people have lost their jobs due to using social media at work as the dismissal would be classified as failing to meet the job requirements. If we could peel back the legal reason for the termination in many cases the underlying reason they fail to meet the requirements is the amount of time they spend on social media.

On one of the few warm days this summer I was at the beach and noticed a group of teenagers sitting together, each one absorbed in their own smart-phone, texting and posting away. This went on for over an hour, there were few conversations (other than to show each other a post on the phone) and nothing you could call playing. Here you have a group of youth that don’t know how to interact without a screen in front of them.

A similar situation was seen at a provincial park with a group of people walking through to woods. They would walk a few feet then the phone would chime, they would stop and type a response then walk a few more feet and another chime.

There have even been cases where people have been physically injured by their social media addiction. Several videos showing people walking into poles, fountains or stepping out in traffic without looking have made it to, of all places, the internet and social media platforms. These people are so focused on their social media interaction they ignore the world around them.

When people NEED something as superficial as Social Media to the extent we are seeing in today’s society we have an addiction problem. Just as people need treatment to control their need for alcohol, drugs or gambling, we need to start now to raise awareness of the dangers of Social Media Addiction before it is too late.

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Do You Have to Go to Church?

Let’s find out the true meaning of church.

Written by Joy on 30/11/2014
Series: Weekly Devotional
Tags: Church And Community
“Do not give up meeting together as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.” Hebrews 10:25

There are church services on television and the Internet. But is it ok to stay at home and watch a church service? Or do we have to go to a physical church building? Let’s find out the true meaning of church.

Church: The Body of Christ
When God talks about the church, he isn’t talking about a physical building. The church is all the people in the world who have put their faith in Jesus, sometimes called the body of Christ.

Christians are instructed to meet together regularly. (Hebrews 10:25) Many Christians go to church buildings (local churches). But if there isn’t a local church near you, don’t worry. You can meet in a house church, a secret meeting place or a public place where you can fellowship. The important thing is to meet with other Christians so you can learn, fellowship, and work together to teach others about God.

Divide and Conquer: Enemy Strategy
It’s not easy to overpower a group of people because there’s strength in numbers. But if you divide them, you can easily conquer. The Bible even talks about the benefits of being with another person instead of being alone. “Two are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)

As Christians, we have an enemy who wants to divide us. “Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” (I Peter 5:8). Satan tries to separate you from other believers because he knows you are weaker when you are alone. When we are in a group, we can support each other, hold each other accountable and pray for each other. Satan will not be able to drag one of us off into the wilderness of unbelief, doubt, or despair.

United in Love: Jesus’ Prayer
Jesus prayed for us to be united. (John 17:9-11). He told us to “Love one another” (John 13:34) and “Encourage one another” (I Thessalonians 5:11). You’ll be able to do all of that and more when you’re united with other believers by meeting together. If you haven’t put your faith in Jesus yet, become a part of the body of Christ today and you can begin meeting with other believers too!

Pray this week:

That God will direct you to a local church where you can belong and how you can be an encouragement to other believers.

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9-Year-Old Boy Graduates High School and Starts College, Wants to Become Astrophysicist: ‘I Want to Prove That God Does Exist’

At 9 years old, William Maillis is like a lot of other boys his age, enjoying video games, knock-knock jokes, sports and hanging out with friends. But William is no ordinary kid when it comes to academics.

In May, he graduated from high school and is now a college student already working on his own theories of how the universe was created. Most other 9-year-olds are in fourth grade.

William, who lives in Penn Township, Pennsylvania, is among the youngest people ever to attend college. He’s currently taking a full slate of classes at Community College of Allegheny County as a way to ease into life as a college student and plans to enroll next fall at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, according to his father, Peter Maillis, a Greek Orthodox priest.

“It doesn’t bother me” being the youngest student in class by far, William tells PEOPLE. “I’m used to it by now.”

William, who wants to study the physics and chemistry of space, earn a doctorate degree and work as an astrophysicist, is at ease tossing around concepts like “displacement of space-time” “singularity” and “pure gravity” as he patiently attempts to explain why black holes aren’t “super massive” as theorized by such other brilliant minds as Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking.

Bottom line, according to William: “I want to prove to everybody that God does exist,” he says, by showing that only an outside force could be capable of forming the cosmos.

Maillis said he and his wife, Nancy, who also are parents to a daughter, 29, and son, 26, – “[William] was our 17-year-surprise,” Maillis says with a laugh – realized their young son was advanced when he started accurately identifying numbers at 6 months old and speaking in complete sentences at just 7 months old, he said.

“William was just very sharp,” Maillis says. “William remembers everything he sees.”

He followed with a range of impressive academic feats, including doing addition at 21 months; multiplication, reading and writing at 2 years old; algebra, sign language and reading Greek at age 4; geometry at 5 and trigonometry at 7.

READ THIS ARTICLE: 6-Year-Old Boy Asks To Pray With St. Petersburg Police Officers

After finishing third grade last year, William then simultaneously attended fourth grade and high school while also taking some college classes and this year enrolled in college full-time, his dad says.

Despite his obvious prowess, William was originally turned down when he tried to enroll in kindergarten at age 4 after failing an entrance readiness test when he couldn’t, for example, identify gray as a color (“gray is a shade, not a color,” his father explains) or recognize a thermometer (“we don’t use that kind, we use the kind that goes in your ear,” he says).

Maillis then consulted with a college psychologist who studies whiz kids and she declared him a “pure genius” after administering IQ tests, he says. The elementary school reconsidered and allowed him in.

Maillis says he and his wife allow William to take the lead in deciding what areas of interest to pursue. “Whatever classes he wants to take, that’s okay with me,” Maillis says. “I don’t want to push him.”

William’s history professor, Aaron Hoffman, says the boy fits right in with his other college students. “We haven’t steered away from any topics: Hitler, Mussolini, the Holocaust, wars,” Hoffman says. “If he’s here for college, he’s going to get college-level material.”

The only difference he’s noticed, Hoffman says, is that William doesn’t take notes like the other students, but simply listens, reads and absorbs the material.

Through it all, Maillis says his son remains grounded. “I just want him to appreciate the gift he has, which I think he does,” Maillis said. “I tell him, ‘God gave you a gift. The worst thing would be to reject that gift and not use it for the betterment of the world.’ “

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